Here’s a gem from my archives… an old appearance on E! News ( and, sadly, also the first time I ever sort of believed everyone who said I look like Nia Vardalos)
Month: June 2009
Lil Kim is a Big Mess
Yikes… where to begin?? Okay, well we all know Lil’ Kim is not one for subtlety, but sweet mary, this look is just criminal! That shirt looks like a dress that was sloppily hacked into what Lil Kim calls a top. There is waaaaay to much cleavage going on as well. Oddly enough, I like the pants. I would pair them with a fitted t-shirt and a shrunken blazer, as illustrated by the always-on-point Kate Mess .
The only place those shoes belong is sliding down a pole, so those too have to go. A fab pair of heels would take her look from house arrest to house of style.
Photo credits: Google, USWeekly
What I did today…
What I did today…
Scarlett Johansson should have a big “H” across her chest for hot mess of an outfit. I never have understood why pretty people try to make themselves look horrific. Ms. Johansson is arguably one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood with one of the most envied bodies, but you would never know from this ill proportioned ensemble. The waist on her shorts is way too high, and cuts her torso in an awful place, and the tucked in shirt is not helping her any. It just makes her look squatty. She needs to untuck her shirt to elongate her torso.
The legs are way too full, they should fit a bit closer to her thighs ( not too tight or you risk looking like Daisy Duke). A closer fit will make her look more chic, and less country. The big dark sandals also cut her leg in a weird place and are much too heavy for this look. I am a huge fan of nude colored sandals as they keep the visual line of your leg going and give the illusion of length.
Oh sweet, sweet Selena… que pasa with this horrific look? She looks like one of the fly girls going to an interview for a 9 to 5 job. The shirt and blouse are just way too much pouff to be worn together and there is a Brats doll somewhere going muy loca that someone took her boots. Okay, so let’s take the blouse on its own, which could actually be pretty cute if paired with a high waisted pencil skirt. The streamlined silhouette of the pencil skirt will balance out the billowy shape of the top, showing off her cute little teeny bopper body. Same deal with the skirt, pair it with a close fitting t shirt or tank top a la Kristen Bell in a fab Jenny Kayne number. She can just forget about that shoe and sock number all together and opt for a classic black heel. I am currently kooky for YSL’s platform pumps. They make your legs look a mile long and like you were just poured into them. Heed my words Miss Gomez and you will cast a spell on us all.
What I did today…
Her Cups Runneth Over….
We get it Kim, we get it, you’re a knockout with giant knockers, but there is something to be said for the “less is more adage”. Less boob and less fabric on the bottom could have saved this ” I am in my pj’s and I don’t give a damn what you think look”. Now, pantsuits and the whole PJ look ( thanks to Dolce e& Gabbana’s Spring 09 collection) are hot trends for spring but the lack of proper proportions kill this Stella McCartney jumper. I am all for a little cleavage now and then, but this is just way too much; it makes her look more Hooters than high-end. I would add a bit more fabric to the cups or sew in a lace edge to add coverage and keep the sexiness. The pants are just way too big, her tiny little body ( and believe me, I saw her at YSL in Beverly Hills and this gal is teeny-tiny) is swimming in all that fabric. She needs to take the legs in about 5 inches on each side to streamline the silhouette.
Just a quick appointment with a good tailor will have Miss Kardashian keeping up with the latest trends.