Two halves do make a whole…. hot mess

If I were Katie Price’s stylist, I would sit down and have a long talk about the basic rules of math… While the sum of the parts is always greater than the whole, that is no excuse to walk around like a tramped out version of Batman’s Two- Face.
Where, O where to start…. okay, I think this whole look needs to be scrapped; there is nothing worth saving on either half of this wretched ensemble. Now Katie is a pretty girl, but she does love her some tranny make-up. If she wants to paint all that nonsense on her face, then she needs to keep the hair VERY simple. A straight and clean look, or loose natural waves would be best. As for the dress, I know some girls love pink and I imagine Katie is one of them, but when wearing such a stand-out color, you need to be sure the silhouette is simple and classy. Dolce & Gabbana makes gorgeous and sexy dresses and they don’t shy away from color. Like this fab look on Teri Hatcher at David Letterman. There are so many color variations on this classic dress; it is almost in Dolce & Gabbana’s collections every year. Let the dress be the stand-out item and keep the shoes neutral. My favorite look is a great nude color shoe. They go with everything and make your legs look longer as your skin color will just blend into the shoe. Now just add these three simple tips up for one hot look.
Photo credits; Life & Style, Google

And you are ???????

If I were Phoebe Price’s stylist I would first ask myself why, as I am not sure exactly what she is famous for, aside from consistently appearing on the Worst Dressed List. But, I digress. This whole outfit just screams ” My First Ever Girls Weekend in Vegas”. Those shoes during the day are just criminal. The dress would be great with a flat shoe, take your pick; flat fringed boot, gladiator sandal, slipper. I LOVE Minnetonka’s lace up fringed boots for fall.

I am not nuts for the headband, but I know a lot of pretty young things in La La Land are loving them, so I suppose it can stay. However, I would opt for a more subtle band, this Stevie Nicks explosion is just too much. Just a few changes and you could be on your way to a real career Ms. Price.

Photo Credits: Life & Style,

Affordable Sex

Now usually when I think of the Home Shopping Network, I think of bedazzled sweat suits with matching visors ( vom), but now I will have a reason to tune in at 1:35 am and do some damage… Patricia Field, the genius costumer for Sex and the City, has designed an affordable line (Prices range from $35 to $200) inspired by SATC launching on Home Shopping Network. ” Wherever I go people stop and talk to me, ‘ I’m a Carrie’ or ‘I’m a Miranda’. What could I say to people that would apply to everybody?”
The answer, hopefully, will be revealed September 23 when the collection launches.

Photo Credit: Fishbowl NY

Put This Cougar Back in Her Cage…

If I were her stylist, I would put this cougar back in her cage while I went shopping for some pieces to fix this hot mess of an outfit. It’s all just too much; and it ain’t pretty kitty.

Now, the pieces are salvageable, but worn separately. The cardigan needs to be buttoned up on the bottom. I would pair it with chic white jeans, Joe’s Jeans’ Honey cut in white are to die for ( and perfect for us gals with a tush); or tailored white pants with a wide cuff. I love the look of colored heels with leopard; red, yellow, green purple; it’s all good.

If you want to go with the skirt, pair it with a solid color cardigan ( again, experiment with color here too!); or a white deep v-neck t-shirt with a fitted cardigan over. I LOVE Banana Republic’s cardigans, fab and affordable.

When it come to animal print, less is more. Break up the print with solid colors like this chic lady below ( and I am not just saying that because I styled this outfit) and you’ll be the cat’s meow.

Photo credits; US Weekly,InStyle,

If I Were Her Stylist….

Okay fellow fashionistas, I have decided to add a weekly gem for you all where I will dissect one poor starlet’s tragic ensemble and then give her some helpful fashion advice. Feel free to gawk, sigh, and then add some tips of your own…

Oh poor, poor Jaslene Gonazlez ( One of Tyra’s little baby birds from America’s Next Top Model)…. If I were her stylist I would wave her tiny body up and down at the starting line of a NASCAR Race, the only place I think this wretched outfit would have any value. But here at The Style Lab, we are problem SOLVERS, so…. First of all, lose the gift wrap ribbon shrug. The black and white checker pattern is way too distracting. The dress should be a solid jewel tone ( Mustard, Kelly Green, Deep Plum) , which would look gorgeous against her dark skin. Add one chunky cocktail ring and suddenly you’ve gone from the race track to the red carpet.

Gorgeous jewel tone dress on Julieanne Moore

My favorite cocktail rings by Angelique de Paris

Photo Credit: Life & Style Magazine; InStyle

First Date… What to Wear?!

While talking to my dear friend about what to wear on a first date (which is a nice way of saying we were trying to figure out how just much boob and/or leg she should show), I came up with the idea of having a basic T: A ratio. That is, how much cleavage (T) and leg (A) a gal can sport at once. I think the T is directly inverse to the A. Which, again, is a nice way of saying if you’re giving it all away up top, cover up the gams a bit. Conversely, if you are wearing 2-inch inseam shorts (and go on with your bad self if you are), wear a long sleeve or loose fitting top. Some women do this so effortlessly (a la my dream girl Kate Moss), while others (Heidi Montag of my most hated duo on the planet “Speidi”. If that name doesn’t ring a bell, you are officially my idol) are running around town with barley contained nipples and almost visible underwear.
So I thought I would break down some of my favorite first date looks using my carefully crafted T:A ratio rule….. enjoy

Shorts with a loose fitting blouse:
I love the look of nicely tailored shorts (I say keep the inseam from 3-5 inches) which really highlight a great pair of legs and a blousy top. This is a great look year round, well at least here in Southern California. In the summer or spring, pair white or dark denim (darker denim is a bit dressier for evening) shorts with a floral long sleeve, semi sheer blouse. For the impending fall and winter, I love wool shorts with a tie front blouse and opaque black tights with black heels or ankle booties (the black tights and black shoes will create a long and lean line, or legs that go on for days as I like to call the look). Top it all off with a fitted, almost shrunken blazer and you are good to go.

Loads of cleavage with pants:
Now, I am one of cleavage’s biggest fans (and dare I say when in Europe, a fan of a slightly visible nipple as well), but there’s a classy way to advertise the goods. In the summer or spring, I love a deep plunging neck silk camisole (but, take note gals, the insanely deep necklines are good only for gals with a B or smaller cup, think Kate Hudson. Anything bigger looks vulgar) with either higwaisted jeans or dark skinny jeans. This fall and winter I love the look of silk V-neck camisoles in deep plums and smoky grays with dark skinny jeans and a bright, stacked high heel (probably in yellow or red). Wear a fitted cashmere cardigan to complete the look.

Now, ladies, I can’t help your dates with their looks, but here’s a basic rule of thumb I tell my single friends; if he is wearing Mandals (male leather sandals), carrying a Murse (man purse) or wearing capri pants, calmly pick up your gorgeous oversized clutch and… run like hell.

Ladies, please dress your age!

Since I was just featured in InStyle’s Fall Makeover Issue as a specialist on how to dress when you’re fifty, I thought I like to share my pearls of wisdom for dressing at every age. It seems like this should be a no-brainer for us gals, but we’ve ALL seen them; the 20 year-old hiding behind a college sweatshirt and Levis from junior high, or (god bless her) that 50 year-old mom rocking the too tight bedazzled jeans, the bedazzled tee, the bedazzled trucker hat, the bedazzled… well, you get it. As a wardrobe stylist, I have seen it all throughout the years and have honed a few tips for women of every generation. Enjoy:

Guess, what? You’re not in college anymore, so please, please burn those flannel PJ pants and University sweatshirt. Conversely, you’re not a teenager anymore ( ahhh, the good ol’ days), so please keep your midriff and bum crack covered at all times. Your twenties are a perfect time to explore every style (classic, Goth, modern, feminine etc); and you lucky bitches still have the bod to pull off most looks. Experiment with color, fabric and style to find a look that is truly your own. I recommend playing with a few trends but mixing in some classic staples as well. For example, this fall, the boho look is making a strong comeback. Wear a boho print mini dress with black tights and peep-toe ankle booties, and top it off with a fitted cardigan. It’s a perfect balance of trendy meets classy.

By now, every woman should have her own signature style and know what she can and cannot wear. Perhaps you have learned that not everyone is meant to stuff themselves into skin tight jeans like a little sausage about to burst out of its casing. Highlight your best assets in a classy way. Love your gams? Wear a structured mini skirt with a blouse and leather jacket. Have fab cleavage? Show it off in a top with a plunging neckline, and wear fabulous high waisted jeans (Try Rich & Skinny’s, they’re amazing, you’ll instantly look 5 pounds slimmer). It’s all about proportion and rocking those assets you feel most comfortable with.

40 is the new 30 in my book. You just keep getting better with age, as should your style. Wear tailored pieces such as pencil skirts in lace (one of fall’s favorite fabrics) and a crisp white blouse. Mixing patterns in a subtle way is one of my favorite trends for ladies in their 40’s. Keep the 2 (or 3 for the hard core fashionistas) patterns in the same color family to keep the look more chic than clown-ish. Accessory wise, I think a lot of ladies date themselves by wearing just studs and a dainty necklace. You have many, many good years left my dears, so please stop accessorizing like your grandma. A chunky men’s watch looks gorgeous on a lady’s delicate wrist. Layer a few delicate necklaces, or bracelets; wear one giant and fab cocktail ring. Have fun with it!

No mid-life crisis here ladies; please don’t raid your daughter’s closet in attempt to look younger; you’re not fooling anyone. There is good news is though, you don’t have to dress like a nun. One mistake I see a lot of women making is hiding themselves under baggy layers to look smaller. This technique actaully has the opposite effect; it makes a body look bigger and dumpier. Keep your lines clean and fuss free. Try a wrap dress. it’s one of the most universally flattering looks a woman can wear. It nips you in at all the right places. Pencil skirts are a great look as well. Just pay attention to the hemline; keep it in one inch above or below the knee. Anything shorter looks a bit street-walker and anything longer visually cuts your leg in an unflattering place.

Okay ladies, I think I have given you some gems to work with here. Now, go try some of these looks and watch your style evolve.